Why do we miss someone?

By DR AK Rana

Going to pick someone is different than dropping them at airport for goodbyes. That moment, the one where you miss someone, everyone knows that feeling.

Even a child can understand what it means to letting go that warm hand that it was holding, so that the person can leave.

Holding the bags as you moved towards gate from where you were no more allowed to enter. They were checking the pass and you slowly drifted behind as the crowd swarmed in. After formalities were done, you kept searching for that person and jumped to make yourself visible to them. They took their luggage and kept moving ahead in line, turning back after every minute to see whether you were still there. And you were there because you didn’t want them to look for you while you already left.

Soon, you were not visible to them, neither they were to you; you slowly walked towards the parking area with a heavy heart and teary eyes that you couldn’t show them.

You started missing them, just after they left…

I wondered around to ask people who live afar about their thoughts.

To my surprise their answers were like a maze put to words but looking at it from a height, the vague borders formed a picture that almost looked alike.

“Just because I wanted you to be here with me, I couldn’t be so selfish to even make you feel what I was thinking. I hide even my thoughts from you because just a glance at my eyes is enough for you to know it.”

“How can I make you know that my world would be all gloomy from next day onwards when you will not be there, because I saw you holding your tears, I saw you hiding your eyes, I felt your trembling voice, I noticed the silence that followed while we were packing your luggage.”

“For dreams, for job you will need to leave and I love the way you confidently fly towards your dreams. I promise you that my little heart will never drag you behind.”

“I know the days with you are filled with sunshine of a cold lazy afternoon full of delicacies, tea and lots of talk.

You are that part of my life for which I live, there would be rainy days in between, but I always keep the days we spent together, close to my heart and in hope that we will meet soon.”

“Even if we meet only for a few days, those days are the reason for me to live on and work as much as I can because I don’t want to work for a minute when we are together. I want to spend every minute of my time with you.”

“How will I not miss you? When I wake up, the house will be empty, the curtains won’t be opened and there won’t be anyone for me to cook breakfast for.”

“You won’t know, how hard it is to eat my breakfast all alone on that table with a chair empty and what to do if I make the extra portion for the one who is not there. The house will be empty when I return from work and no body to talk to on tea, you know I skip tea for days after you leave.”

“When you complained to me that I didn’t call you, what could I say silly. I have tones of things to say but hearing your voice so far for me to reach, won’t make me to say anything.

Days after you leave is hardest, I keep myself busy in as much work as I can, because I miss you.”

“I miss you every hour of the day and neither the food nor a famous humor can make me smile, but at least we have smartphones.”

“I know you take responsibility for me and calls me every hour to tell me you are not so far away as I think. It’s just me who takes time to settle down after you leave, but I always hope for you to be well wherever you are.”

“Why do you miss? You should give your life an equal importance, you can be equally happy even without their presence.” One of my colleagues suggested me tips when confident zombie looking heartbroken person like me was trying to show the world that everything was still alright.

Although I respected their opinion but couldn’t tell them that even my tea doesn’t taste well without them, anything good that I find is reserved for the one, awaiting their return, be it even for a day.”

“Why do you miss so much, when we all are connected with mobiles that will not let anyone depart away. But do we say everything on phone, can we understand everything, can we feel the pain the other person is in?

There are things that are not said but felt, there are words that are not heard but listened, there is that touch and warmth of our dear ones that we miss.

How can this mobile cover for all of them.”

“A person like me won’t even call because it would be too hurtful to hear your voice from a place so far away; But at the same time feeling happy to hear you.”

“You need to eat and sleep well, and tell me even the slightest thought that troubles you. I will reach wherever you are because never forget that our home always waits for your return.”

“Even when the whole world is against you, you can never give up and remember that there is one who will fight whole world for you. Be it a hell, I will come find you, don’t dare to hide from me because I will be happier to be there with you rather than burning from far with just the thought that you are there all alone.”

“You are a strong person and won’t let others see your tears. You won’t let me know because you know that it will break my heart to see you suffer.

But you don’t know one thing?

My heart starts beating again, the air is filled with oxygen, my eyes start seeing colours again, this person who awaits your arrival would be so disheartened to know that you were under so much stress yet suffered all alone while I foolishly kept telling you to be happy. Was it the reason you couldn’t tell me how sad you were? And kept laughing on my stupid jokes.”

“I don’t want to be the person you can only be happy with, but the one with whom you can also be sad without hiding it.”

“I might not say my heart in words but I want you to know I miss even the shadow of yours.”

When I was compiling all of their answers, I could understand two things-

Firstly love doesn’t bind you but gives you confidence and strength to move ahead stronger; but there still exists a chain of love and care that will never let you take risks because your life is not only yours but is also connected to those who waits for your return.

Secondly, love crosses boundaries, be it anywhere in the world; you are always close to the hearts of your loved ones; but it hates when you struggle alone without worrying them who will later on blame themselves for not knowing. Your loved ones will like to follow you in hardship rather than being ignorant like a stranger.