How to Embrace Forgiveness for a Freer Present?

By Dr. AK Rana

“Forgiveness doesn’t rewrite the past—it frees the present. Some bonds don’t return to what they were, but in understanding, they find a gentle place to exist.”

Is it wise to remember the wounds inflicted by words, the sting of betrayal, the weight of unspoken resentments?

Or is it kinder to forget—to let the past dissolve into nothing but fading echoes, remembering only what was good?

For a long time, I believed in memory’s sharp edge, in the necessity of remembrance—not as a means of holding on, but as a safeguard.

If I remembered, I would be careful.

I would never walk the same road twice, never let them step too close again.

They could exist, but not within my world.

But time has a way of softening even the harshest recollections. Slowly, the anger unraveled, thread by thread, until all that remained was a vague thought:

Once, I was hurt.
Once, I was angry.
But the details?
They had long since faded.

And then, something unexpected happened. Little whispers of self-awareness crept in.

Were you always right?
Were you never at fault?

The truth arrived not as a blow, but as a quiet realization—I had been wrong too. I had been unkind too.

In time, understanding took the place of resentment, and with it came a silent promise:

Not to repeat the same mistakes.

Perhaps that was how the past lost its power over me.

One day, I found a reason to take a step forward—just a small one, on their birthday.

A simple gesture, yet it carried more weight than I had anticipated. And then, as if time had merely been waiting for an invitation, many steps came toward me in return.

Perhaps they, too, had been waiting for the chance to unburden themselves of old shadows.

And now?

Are we close again? Yes.

Have we moved on completely?

Yes.

Not because the past has been rewritten, but because we no longer linger in it.

The wounds have closed, the echoes have quieted, and we speak more freely than before—not weighed down by what was, but content with what is.

Love was never the question.

Nothing can return to the way it once was, and perhaps it shouldn’t.

But understanding—true understanding—has taken its place. We walk in separate worlds, yet when we think of each other, it is not with bitterness or regret.

Only with a quiet, knowing smile.