HOW TO AVOID FIGHTS?
- By DR AK RANA
Fights are something which many of us don’t like to be involved with and often wonder whether we could possibly avoid that incident. So, here I will tell you some of the ways you can avoid fights –
Fights where you are angry –
In this world, there are many types of persons who will not function the way in accordance to your wishes and thoughts. In this process, its also very likely that they are going to hurt your feelings or act mean. You would be angry at how the other person is acting, sometimes surprized also.
In this situation fight will start when you acknowledge or ask for explanation or yell at what they did.
So, the tip is to ignore. To let go, and save yourself from getting your evening ruined.
What if the person is a distant one?
Ans – who cares, just ignore.
What if the person is a colleague?
Ans – Then fighting will unnecessarily cause problems. Ignoring once is fine but every time is another headache. When your anger subsides you can have a verbal logical talk to explain your and their stand, so that things like that won’t repeat. But, incident like this is also a reminder for you to keep a safe distance with them.
What if the person is someone close to you?
Ans – Then you surely need to talk about it, but don’t do it when you are angry, because you will just shout without any facts or logic. Talk to them about the incident and about how you were hurt, so in order to avoid any misunderstandings and for sure the fight. Besides, doing this you won’t be ruining an event that you planned from so many days (because most of the fights happen on such days) and also avoid a fight that could be avoided.
Not talking when you are angry holds an advantage that sometimes after taking a break and thinking for a moment, we can see the other side of coin also, and it might make sense or you might also be wrong over there. After you have calmed down, you will be able to see things more clearly and then take the most appropriate step.
Fights against someone you will see daily
It can be both involving the house members or office persons. These fights are really bad because most of the times they don’t hold any sense to it, all it ends up doing is ruining your mood, motivation and creates negative vibes.
Constant arguments, meanness, walking over shells, requirement to either yell or squat in a corner and a stream of black cloudy thoughts surrounding your brain all the time slowly makes it a hell to live in.
Worst thing is you can’t run away from it nor can you ignore it again and again.
Try to talk into things, every single thing with the person, if possible, slowly and steadily try to streamline the process instead of blasting a bomb at once.
You should also try to mend your ways a little to show them your sincerity to reach an agreement, when both walks closer than only the gap can be filled; a one party move always fails.
Avoid if you can, don’t fight for the same thing again but move forward towards whatever agreement that you made.
The other party is not willing to settle?
When the other person doesn’t want to settle and its only you who is always made to give up, then it’s a serious issue buddy. The thing is that other person seriously hates you and don’t consider any of your feelings.
You got two choices –
- If it’s a work place and you need that job and the anger is not about something that is illegal and unjust, try to keep as long a distance as you can. Live as if the other person doesn’t even exist, reduce your interaction to minimal
- If its at home, then here you have to make a call. Try to be gentle when you talk, with full patience and calmness and understanding talk again and follow the steps stated above. If it fails, then try to avoid the interaction or those talks that can be avoided that are causes of fights. If not at once, slowly and thereby with a positive intent you will see the things setting in a streamline motion.
Fights that you should be careful of
Fights that involve financial matters, or business. Always be careful to keep your family and friends out of any possible dispute that could arise out of it. A business done with a friend or family should be done like strangers only, it is beneficial both for business and also to avoid any financial disputes that might possibly arise. Keep your professional and personal matters apart while you are on it.
Fights involving random strangers? Avoid! Be careful! You don’t know them, you can’t risk fighting, say sorry and move ahead. Why? Because some waits for your reaction to start a fight as they are too bored and want someone to lift that boredom, don’t be that someone!
Besides all of these, there are many things, situations which might arise which you have to tackle on your own. Always remember to avoid fights, it’s not worth your time and energy. Those who are provoking you again and again are not worth any second of your time, don’t let anybody ruin your peace. Because at the end of the day its always you and your life and no body can understand your emotions and feelings more than you, yourself.
Take care of yourself, be kind, be good, don’t expect, ignore or avoid, live with hope and if not smiles, at least no tears either!
So what do you think? Share your views in comment section.
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